[ Anode sighs and blows bubbles into spritzer for a moment as she watches Slipstream. Her nose wrinkles. ]
That's the thing. Just because I'm out there by myself doesn't mean I don't have a cause or I don't follow anyone. My cause, though, is my Lug. I dunno what I'd do without her to keep me grounded. Probably would have gotten my aft killed a long time ago.
[ Sigh. ]
It's not about not having a cause, Slip. It's about figuring out what your own personal cause is gonna be. Internal motivation instead of external. THat's the difference.
[ Anode looks up at Slipstream, right in the optics. ]
It's comfortable to let other people decide what's important for you. I get that. Just... does it make you happy that he told you leave behind someone you like? That you care for? I feel like the answer's no.
[That sounds dangerously like independent thought, and Slipstream automatically shies away from it, fearful of it like she's been taught to be. However, this is Anode, her friend, so for her, she's willing to at least try.]
My... my own happiness doesn't matter. It's never who I care about, or who cares about me. It's just the Decepticon cause that matters. Megatron... is the only one who matters.
Maybe it's selfish of me, but I hated the idea that someone could tell me their cause was more important than my Lug. And I get it, I think. That it's nice to have something structured and solid to believe in.
[ She shakes her head. ]
You believe in him to the end. And if that's how you want to live, then that's how you want to live. Just... that's going to involve leaving behind people that matter. Sometimes people who matter a lot. So I guess it comes down to what's gonna matter the most, the cause or the people?
[Slipstream sighs and clutches her head, putting herself facedown on the table.
Her voice is muffled.]
I feel like there's little hooks in my mind that just stop me from going forward, and I don't know what to do about them. I want to adapt to this new way of life, but I also don't want to leave everything I was behind.
[ Anode frowns and reaches out to lay a hand gently on Slipstream's head. ]
It sounds like you've got a lot going on in your head right now, Slip. I don't think you have to leave everything about yourself behind, but... I think you should be allowed to, you know, make some decisions for yourself if you want? And I dunno how your Megatron is, but the one I know uh... seemed reasonable? At least he liked poetry and stuff? Is there any way you can talk to him about this?
I mean. I don't know that they're necessarily above you. They're mechs same as the rest of us. They have feelings and insecurities. I bet I can get my Megs to talk to you, give you some insight. He was a Decepticon for a long time!
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[ Anode sighs and blows bubbles into spritzer for a moment as she watches Slipstream. Her nose wrinkles. ]
That's the thing. Just because I'm out there by myself doesn't mean I don't have a cause or I don't follow anyone. My cause, though, is my Lug. I dunno what I'd do without her to keep me grounded. Probably would have gotten my aft killed a long time ago.
[ Sigh. ]
It's not about not having a cause, Slip. It's about figuring out what your own personal cause is gonna be. Internal motivation instead of external. THat's the difference.
[ Anode looks up at Slipstream, right in the optics. ]
It's comfortable to let other people decide what's important for you. I get that. Just... does it make you happy that he told you leave behind someone you like? That you care for? I feel like the answer's no.
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My... my own happiness doesn't matter. It's never who I care about, or who cares about me. It's just the Decepticon cause that matters. Megatron... is the only one who matters.
[She's quiet for a moment.]
But... I think Starscream mattered too.
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[ Anode sighs and leans forward a little. ]
Maybe it's selfish of me, but I hated the idea that someone could tell me their cause was more important than my Lug. And I get it, I think. That it's nice to have something structured and solid to believe in.
[ She shakes her head. ]
You believe in him to the end. And if that's how you want to live, then that's how you want to live. Just... that's going to involve leaving behind people that matter. Sometimes people who matter a lot. So I guess it comes down to what's gonna matter the most, the cause or the people?
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Her voice is muffled.]
I feel like there's little hooks in my mind that just stop me from going forward, and I don't know what to do about them. I want to adapt to this new way of life, but I also don't want to leave everything I was behind.
I don't know what to do from here.
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It sounds like you've got a lot going on in your head right now, Slip. I don't think you have to leave everything about yourself behind, but... I think you should be allowed to, you know, make some decisions for yourself if you want? And I dunno how your Megatron is, but the one I know uh... seemed reasonable? At least he liked poetry and stuff? Is there any way you can talk to him about this?
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All of them are above me in every way.
Except Antlers. I will destroy him when I can.
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It's not going to happen. I appreciate the effort though.
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I'd never make you eat your wings. Way too pretty for that!
[ ANYWAY. ]
We gotta look out for each other, right?